The Healing Process
by Saku
Summary: Hiei is injured. Kurama wants to help him but the smaller youkai pushes him away. Will these youkai come to terms with their feelings for one another? Or will their inner conflicts push them farther away?
1. The healing Process

Why was Kurama so stupid? Did he not tell the kitsune he was tired? That he needed to rest? Why wasn't the redhead listening? Hiei closed his eyes again. Only to be roughly shaken by firm hands. "Hiei! I can't let you sleep. Not yet." Kurama's voice was ment to be soothing but the sound only made Hiei dispise him more. "Kisama, get your hands off me!" Hiei jerked free of the kitsune's grasp and tried to put distance between them. He only made it a few steps before his weak legs caused him to fall to his knees on the grass. A deep sense of failure flooded through him. Never in his life had he dropped to such a low level of strength...of weakness. The realization that he may have bitten off more than he could chew in the last battle made Hiei sick to his stomach.  
  
Hiei was being difficult. Kurama knew he had been drained of alot of energy and youki in the last battle, but seeing the normally sturdy and powerful youkai on his knees in the grass made Kurama realize even Hiei wasn't invincible. "Hiei, let me help you. You're too weak--" Hiei glared coldly at him. "I am NOT weak Kurama!"  
  
"I know Hiei. I'm sorry. I didn't mean--" Kurama studdered, knowing he had just made Hiei angrier. "Get away from me." The black youkai struggled to his feet and turned away from him, making his way towards the waterfront across the Tournament Field.  
  
"Hiei, were are you going?" Kurama called after his friend. Hiei wouldn't answer and Kurama felt a pang of guilt for allowing Hiei to be injured in the tournament. Hiei had objected to the idea of tag-teaming and Kurama had respected his decision. But that didn't change the fact that Hiei was hard headed. Kurama watched with a heavy heart as Hiei used what little strength he had left to cross the field. "Hiei." Kurama whispered into the breeze. "Hiei I'm sorry."  
  
Hot pain shot up his right leg with every step he took. A dull throbbing come from within his chest and Hiei knew he'd broken his collarbone and at least one rib. The youkai he'd fought just an hour ago had definately done some damage. Hiei had won; of course, he would never have forgiven himself if he lost. But the aftremath of such a vicious fight sent his pain tolernce into overdrive. Climbing painfully onto large rock, Hiei looked out at the ocean. The sun was already setting and the sky was saturated in blues, oranges, pinks and purples. Hiei drew in a breath and leaned back on his elbows, tossing his head back to recieve the sunlight. His eyes began to close again. Fatigue was getting the better of him. What was it Kurama said? Didn't he warn him not to sleep? Why? Hiei puzzled over this for a moment before completely stretching out on the rock. Giving in to his body's demand for rest, Hiei nodded off to sleep. His consciouslness lulled away by the sounds of the ocean....  
  
TBC.... 


	2. THP

Kurama watched the dark youkai from a distance. Giving Hiei his space was the only thing he could do for him right now. That and keep him awake. He didn't think Hiei was aware of his own condition. During the fight, Hiei's opponent-a plant weilding youkai-had injected with poison. The only reason Kurama knew this was because he had recognized the plant used to deliver the poison. The opponent drew fluid from the plant and bit Hiei's leg, thus transferring a poisonous substance into poor Hiei's bloodstream. Kurama guessed that the plant-weilding youkai had expected to lose the match but he had planned to bring down Hiei too. When Kurama  
  
saw Hiei's eyes close he panicked. "Hiei, oh god no! Don't sleep!"  
  
Hiei heard Kurama's shouting as the redhead approached him. A hot anger flared within him and his eyes flew open. he growled at the kitsune. Kurama was below him now, telling him not to sleep and Hiei exploded. "Stop telling me what to do, kisama! Don't you know when to stop?!"  
  
Kurama was calm in the face of his anger. "Hiei, please, " he begged. "Youve been poisoned. If you fall asleep the poison wll kill you."  
  
Hiei frowned. "Let me be. It's none of your concern whether I live or die." Why do you care?   
  
Kurama looked hurt. "Hiei....we're a team. I have to look out for you. Just let me use my plants to heal--"  
  
"NO!" The kitsune's concern for him sent shockwaves of rage through his body and he didn't know why. Gathering his strength, Hiei jumped off the rock and faced Kurama fuming. He wanted to hate him....  
  
Kurama reached out his hand and brushed the hair from his face. Hiei backed away. "Don't."  
  
"How does your body feel?" Kurama asked, ingnoring Hiei's irritation with him. Hiei closed his eyes. "I feel the pain and it's nothing new to me. I can heal my own body, Kurama. If I was poisoned I will deal with it my own way."  
  
"Hiei, I.... Will you come stay with me in the Ningenkai tonight?"  
  
Kurama's question took him by surprize.  
  
"what? Why would I--" Suddenly Hiei couldn't stand up anymore, let alone argue. He felt his whole body lose control and he fell forward.  
  
Kurama saw Hiei's large, red eyes lose their focus and he caught him midfall. The small youkai couldn't support himself any longer as the poison took its toll on his body. Hiei's fatigue was giving the venom the advantage and Ku rama gently knelt to the ground, holding the semi-conscious Hiei to his chest. Plants sprouted from the ground around them. "You're okay now. You're alright." he whispered into Hiei's hair.  
  
Note: Hai, there's more for you... 


	3. THP

Hiei couldn't feel his legs. A drowzy feeling flooded his senses and he leaned hard into Kurama's chest. the kitsune's warm body was of some comfort to him but this was something he would never have admitted. He uttered a low growl when he felt Kurama's fingers brush through his hair. "Don't do that." He purred into the warm chest. Kurama was using his mastery over plants to attempt to heal him of his internal injuries and Hiei could feel the cut of the thorns as they made tiny incisions through his clothes. He winced slighty when a particularily deep incision was made near his damaged rib.  
  
"Don't worry," he heard Kurama's assuring voice. "They won't hurt for long. There's a numbing agent in them so you won't feel them inside you." Hiei groaned and Kurama wrapped his arms around him in a gentle embrace. hiei's initial reaction was to break free of the arms that held him and put as much distance between them as possible. But he found he had no strength to do so. The plants were inside him now. His thigh, collarbone and torso alive with a faint burning sensation as the vines did their magic repairing bone and muscle. Hiei loked up at his gentle captor. "Why are you doing this?"   
  
"You're injured." Kurama responded, looking down at him, confused.  
  
"No." He shifted in Kurama's grasp. "This."  
  
"Do you want me to let go?"  
  
No. Hiei thought. I just want to know why you are holding me. And why the hell I am liking it.... Hiei frowned and closed his eyes, not giving him an answer.  
  
Hiei was letting him hold him! Deep within himself, Kurama wished he could freeze time. Freeze time so he could just sit here in the grass by the ocean with the one he cared so much for and watch the sunset. Kurama rested his chin on Hiei's head and gazed out at the water. The sun was a giant, orange fireball n a rainbow sky. It reminded him of the hman world and he longed to return to it. He didn't belong here in the Makai anymore.   
  
"Hiei? Will you come with me when I go back to the Ningen--" Kurama looked down at the small youkai. Hiei had fallen asleep in his arms. A smile spread across his face and he shifted the dark youkai, being careful not to disturb the plants attached to hm.  
  
"Is your dream life as hard on you as this one? Do you fight battles you can't win?" Kurama reached down and removed the plant in Hiei's thigh. A small trickle of crismson blood escaped from the wound. "You are only youkai. You're not Superman." Kurama laughed at this. Hiei did come retty close to the Ningen equivalent of Superman. Once again repositioning Hiei, Kurama lay down in the grass and lay the sleeping duelist next to him.   
  
"When you wake up you're going to leave me arn't you?" Kurama whispered, wishing it wasn't true. Hiei's pale face resembled that of a sleeping boy. Innocent and young. Whisps of black hair tickled across his face in the breeze. Hiei brushed them away and -much to Kurama's suprize- nuzzled closer to him and buried his face against the fabric of his shirt. Kurama lay his head on his arm and wrapped the other around Hiei. With the plants still working on Hiei, all the poison would soon be drained from his blood. Hiei would be back to normal in no time at all. Kurama almost wished he wouldn't.   
  
***  
  
When Hiei woke up he opened his eyes to a sleeping Kurama excruciatingly close to him. In fact, Hiei was shocked to find his own fist tightly clenching the kitsune's shirt. Letting go of it, Hiei rose to a sitting position, shrugging away the muscled arm that was around him. It was dark. Probably close to being morning. Or mdnight, in the Ningenkai. Hiei stretched and tested his muscles. There was no longer a burning sensation in his chest and he noticed he wasn't wearing a shirt. Kurama must have taken the plants out of him while he was passed out. The thought of Kurama undressing him without his knowing it made him frown. He looked over at the sleeping kitsune. Kurama's long, red hair was spread around him like a halo in the grass. His lips were parted and he was breathing softly, his fingers were twitching slightly beside him. Hiei studied him for a long moment. Kama he's beautiful. Seeing his shirt in the grass nearby, he pulled it on. "Arigatou." He whispered. Placing his white scarf in Kurama's open hand, he disappeared into the night. 


	4. THP

Kurama opened his eyes. Hiei was gone. He had expected as much; but it hurt just the same. When had he awakened? Kurama looked to his hand. Hiei's scarf rested between his fingers. He caressed his face with the soft fabric; Hiei had gone, but he would be back. Was the scarf his way of saying so? Perhaps a 'thank you' was hidden within the guesture as well. It was hard to tell with Hiei. Rising stiffly to his feet, Kurama stretched, and wrapping Hiei's scarf around him, headed back to the Ningenkai.  
  
When Kurama opened the door of his human home, he found his mother sitting at the kitchen table. She jumped up at the sight of him and rushed up to him, wrapping her arms around his neck.  
  
"Kaasan?" He could feel her choked sobs as she cried into his shoulder. "What is it? Why are you crying?"  
  
"Shuichi...." She sobbed.  
  
Kurama held her tightly to him. "Shhhhh. I'm here."   
  
Tear stained eyes looked up at him. "You were gone so long. I thought-- I thought something happened to you."  
  
"I told you I was going to watch a tournament. You knew I'd be away for a few days."  
  
"Shuichi, you never tell me where these 'tournaments' are. You're the best son anyone could ask for but you're so secrative. I never know where you're going or what you're doing."  
  
Kurama held her out in front of him. "Kaasan, I always tell you where I'm going. And what I'm--"  
  
His mother's hurt expression stopped him midsentance.  
  
"I'm sorry," She apologized, wiping her tears away. "I trust you. You don't have to tell me what you're doing all the time. I just missed you. It's been three days."  
  
Three days? "I'm here now. It's very late, you should be in bed. I promise I'll be here in the morning." Kurama winked and brushed the back of his hand against his mother's cheek. She held it there for a second before nodding and leaving the room. "Goodnight, son." she said.  
  
"Goodnight, kaasan."  
  
Kurama sat down at the table and lay his forehead down on the cold surface, closing his eyes. He hated living a double life. He hated being away from Hiei. He hated hiding his true feelings. And most of all, he hated himself for doing these things.  
  
It was cold. It was dark too, but that didn't bother Hiei as much as the chill in the air. He tightened his cloak around him and scanned the area for a suitable tree to sleep in. When he couldn't find one, Hiei found himself wishing he had stayed a while longer in Kurama's embrace. The fox had held him without binding him, kept him warm without wanting anything in return and healed him without hesitations. Damn him.   
  
A gust of wind arose suddenly, pressing his hair back away from his face. He remembered Kurama had asked him to go to the Ningenkai and he had refused, leaving the sleeping ningen with only his scarf. Hiei frowned at the memory. Why did Kurama want him in the world of humans? Did he think he would be safer there? Or did he want his company? Was the kitsune lonely in the Ningenkai? Hiei doubted it. Kurama had his mother, his friends and the Spirit Detective to keep him company. Another cold gust of wind tore across the open area and Hiei shivered. He'd been walking for nearly three hours now and he'd gotten nowhere. The sky was turning a shade lighter as morning approached. Hiei stopped walking. He hated this. Not having a place to go. It was the story of his life. He lived an infinate pattern of pain, confusion and loneliness. The latter of the three he never admitted to anyone. Hiei stood there in the cold with his mix of thoughts. he had to stop fooling himself. He wanted a change. He wasn't sure he wanted to live the rest of his life fighting and living in a state of emotional confusion. And he didn't want to be alone....  
  
It was still dark when Hiei reached Kurama's human house. He stood in the front yard and stared up at the kitsune's bedroom window. The lights were off. He wondered, not for the first time that night, whether he should turn around and go back to his own life and leave Kurama alone. But dispite his conflicting thoughts, Hiei approached the ouse. Climbing up the tree in Kurama's yard, Hiei walked the sturdy limb to Kurama's window and peered inside. The room was empty; the bed untouched. Hiei frowned. Where was Kurama? He was sure the ningen had returned home. Maybe he was downstairs. Hopping out of the tree, Hiei landed hard and winced when pain shot up his leg. A reminder that he had been recently healed and was still a little weak. Limping slighty, Hiei made his way to Kurama's front door and di something he never did. Knock. He regretted doing this immediately, remembering Kurama's mother was probably home and would ask about her son if he wasn't there. He was about to leave when Kurama opened the door. Kama, it was good to see him.... 


	5. THP

Hiei was here. On his doorstep. Kurama thought he was dreaming. "Hiei?"  
  
Hiei looked at the ground, then glanced back up. His crimsion eyes burning into him. "Hi."  
  
Kurama felt his entire being shudder with joy. Hiei was here in the Ningenkai! "You came." Kurama couldn't hide his surprize.  
  
Hiei frowned sharply. "You didn't expect me to?"  
  
Kurama smiled, his eyes alight with happiness. "I hoped you would."  
  
Hiei smirked at this. "I wasn't going to come."  
  
Now it was Kurama's turn to frown. "What made you change your mind?" Hiei rubbed the back of his neck, avoiding Kurama's emerald eyes. I wanted to see you. "I wanted to see my scarf." Hiei blurted. "I mean, you have my scarf!" He practically yelled. Kurama wasn't sure what to make of Hiei's apparent indecision, but he nodded and returned with the white garment. he held it out to him. But the youkai just stared at it. Making no move to take it from him. "I didn't come here for the stuid scarf, Kurama." Hiei said, closing his eyes. he sighed deeply and opened his eyes, focusing on Kurama once more. A tortured look washed over his pale features. "Can I come in?"  
  
Hiei felt stupid. Why did I come here again? Kurama let him inside and asked him if he was hungry. He refused any food but drank when Kurama set a mug of hot chocolate on the table in front of him. By the time Kurama had finished making his own hot chocolate, Hiei was finished. The warm drink flowed through him pleasently and he licked his lips. Kurama watched him form the other end of the table with an amused expression on his face. Hiei looked up from his mug. "What?"  
  
"I know your weakness." Kurama told him, grinning and taking a sip of his drink. I have a weakness? Hiei thought about this a moment before daring to ask what the redhead was talking about.   
  
"Oh?"  
  
"You love chocolate." Kurama laughed. Hiei scowled. That wasn't his weakness. It was however, his favorite ningen beverage. "My weakness isn't a stupid drink, Kurama." He said, playing with the handle of his mug. He could feel Kurama watch him with curious eyes. "You have a real weakness then?" he asked, curiousity getting the better of him. Hiei looked up at him. He studied those emerald green disks that studied him back. "No." He said finally. The redhead seemed to sink back into his chair. "And here you had my hopes up. I thought there was a way to break you."  
  
Hiei's eyes narrowed in confusion. "Break me?"  
  
Kurama looked up at him with a gleam in his eyes. "Hai. Break you. What would it take to shatter that guard you constantly keep your emotions under? I have never seen you truly happy or truly sad. I feel I don't know you at all. Hiei."  
  
Hiei felt like Kurama had just slapped him. But it was true, he realized. He didn't like to show his emotions. His emotions made him feel weak....  
  
"Hiei?" Kurama leaned forward on the table. "What do I have to do?"  
  
Hiei blinked at the attentive Kurama. "I....oh god, Kurama. Why are you doing this?" Hiei got up from the table and started for the door. Kurama grabbed his arm as he passed. "Hiei, why won't you let me in?" Hiei jerked his arm away and opened the front door. "Wait." Kurama pleaded. A thousand demons couldn't hold him back, but Hiei stopped in his tracks when Kurama told him to.   
  
Kurama didn't expect him to stop. He didn't understand why the small youkai was so upset. They stood in silence. Hiei's shoulders slouched and le bowed his head in defeat. Kurama felt an immense pressure on his hear then. "Hiei? Hiei please stay. I want you here with me." He admitted for the first time. Hiei turned his head slightly. "You do?" Kurama crossed over to him and wrapped his muscular arms around the youkai. He buried his face in Hiei's velvety black hair and breathed in his scent.  
  
"Hai. I need you, Hiei."  
  
Hiei turned to face him. "You don't know me, Kurama. How can yuo need me?"  
  
Kurama felt as though Hiei had punched him in the gut. Hiei must have read his pained expression because the dark youkai's gaze softened and he reached into his pocket. Hiei pulled out a jeweled necklace. "Here." he handed it to him. "It's a tear gem." Kurama took it in his hand. " A tear gem?" He asked, turning the small jelwel in his palm. Hiei watched the gem, then Kurama. "When I cry my tears solidify. You said you've never seen me truly sad. I can't guarantee you'll ever see me cry, Kurama, but now you have one of my tears."  
  
Kurama filled with emotions as he handled Hiei's tear gem and a lump formed in his throat. He fastened the gift around his neck and looked Hiei in the eyes. "Thank you. And I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you." He brushed his long red hair from his forehead with his hands. Hiei turned to leave.  
  
"Wait! Hiei, please!"  
  
Once again Kurama's words seemed to bind Hiei, and the dark youkai stopped. "I shouldn't be here." Hiei said, not turning.  
  
"Please don't go. I'l do anything to make you stay." Kurama felt his heart beating in his ears. Suddenly it seemed as though there wasn't enough oxygen to breath and the lup in his throat threatened to choke him. Hiei started to wak away once more. Kurama wanted to run after him. Force him to stay. he wanted to make Hiei understand how deeply he felt for him. That Hiei didn't have to be alone anymore...that he loved him. But all he could do was watch as Hiei walked away from him. Leaving a gaping hol in his very being. Damn him! 


	6. THP

Cold air swirled around him once more like the lie he lived. Part of him wished Kurama would run after him, but he knew the kitsune wouldn't force him to stay. Was it only yesterday that Kurama had healed his body after the Tournament? they had argued then and Hiei knew he had done most of the yelling. Yet Kurama still wanted him to stay. He held nothing against him form the day before. And here he was, angry that Kurama felt he didn't know him. Hiei felt sick with himself. What was he doing? He stopped walking halfway down the street. The sky was slowly turning blue as the sun approached the horizon. Every fiber of his being told he to go back. "Shimatta." He didn't want to be alone... All the light sin the house were off. Hiei climbed the framiliar branches of Kurama's tree and opened the human's window. Kurama was in the wash room across the hall. Hiei lowered himself into his room and closed the window behind him. The bathroom door opened and the light turned off. Kurama walked into his room and jumped when he saw Hiei's sillouette by the window. 

Hiei shifted, "I changed my mind. Am I still welcome here?" He asked. Kurama didn't say a word. Instead he rushed up to him, grabbed his face and kissed him with barely suppressed passion. Hiei's eyes widened abruptly at Kurama's blunt action but they too lost their focus and closed as he returned the kiss. Hiei ran his hands through Kurama's long hair and Kurama growled into his mouth, their tongues entwining. Hiei pulled back, gasping for a breath. Kurama's eyes were clouded over and he licked his lips, "You came back." He smiled. Hiei looked up at Kurama's hair, his eyes tracing the contures of the redhead's face and finally down to his lips. Hiei was about to go for them again when the kitsune stopped him, a hand to his chest. Hiei looked down at the hand, then back up to mischeivious eyes. Kurama removed his nightshirt, revealing an excruciatingly tone torso that shone from the blue of the morning sky. Hiei ran his fingers down Kurama's abs, tracing the muscles. Kurama laughed and bent over, moving his stomach away from that torturous touch.

"That tickles." he grinned.

Hiei smirked. "Hn. I know your weakness, Kitsune."

Kurama's face changed to a slightly fervent expression and he ran his hands under Hiei's shirt and lifted it over his head, exposing his own muscular torso. Kurama looked him over with greedy eyes. Hiei eyed the bed. "Kurama?" Kurama kissed him again. Hiei found himself breathing irradically as the kitsune woke up feelings he had long ago suppressed.They devowered eachother and by the time they reached the bed, both boys were laughing and gasping for air. Kurama pushed Hiei onto his back and leaned over him, breathing hard. Hiei closed his eyes.

"Is this what you ment when you said you wanted to 'break me' Kurama?"

Kurama loked at the dark youkai's closed eyes, willing them to open. When they didn't, he answered, " Have I broken through that emotional wall of yours?"

Hiei opened his eyes and focused them on the redhead. "Kurama, it's not that easy. I don't know how to show what I'm feeling." he admitted, looking away. Kurama licked his cheek. Hiei made a face.

Kurama smiled at him, "There! See? You just showed me you don't like that. When I kissed you a minute ago you were laughing. When I wouldn't let you sleep yesterday you yelled at me. And when you were lonely you came here looking for me. You are perfectly capeable of showing what you feel."

Hiei thought about this for a moment before speaking again. "I don't understand what you want from me."

Kurama lay beside him. "I want you to be open with me. Let me in on your thoughts. It hurts when you isolate yourself from me because you don't want my help."

Hiei stared at the ceiling. He could feel Kurama watching him. "Fine." He said. "But if I'm going to be more 'open', you have to do the same. I know you don't tell me everything either." He glanced over at the redhead. "Like why the hell you have flowered wall paper in your room."

Hiei hid his face with his arms as Kurama hit him with a pillow.

"You really know how to bruise my ego!" Kurama laughed. "Okay, deal."

Hiei turned to face him. "...So...what now?"

A smile snaked across the kitsune's face. "What do you want to do? Now's your chance to be open."

Hiei raised an eyebrow before grasping the other's hand and running his fingers over his face. Kurama moved closer, his nose almost touching the hand on Hiei's face. Hiei moved Kurama's hand away and smiled with his eyes. "I think I'm coming down with something, Kurama. And I don't think it's something your plants can cure me of."

Kurama grinned, "Mmmm. What shall we do about your condition then?"

Hiei growled impaitiently, "Heal me."

THE END


End file.
